


Dumbledoor and the Lost Lemon Drop

by M1dn1ght_Star



Series: Dumbledoor Crack Series [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, This is a beautiful mess, do not copy to another site
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:42:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28012611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M1dn1ght_Star/pseuds/M1dn1ght_Star
Summary: Dumbledoor ran throughout the castle wearing a neon pink bathrobe and a jester's hat complete with jingling bells in the shape of bowtruckles. His slippers looked like potatoes with the fluffy inside as mashed potato. His eyes were wide and panicked and the deep bruises around his eyes betrayed the fact that he hadn’t slept in days.He passed Severus Snape on one of the staircases, who promptly did a double take before looking suspiciously at the coffee he was drinking. Snape then realized that he wasn’t really that shocked, it was exactly something the crazy old man would do, shook his head, and moved on with his day. He had a detention to plan for Potter, after all.Pomona Sprout facepalmed when the man raced through the Great Hall past the students eating their breakfast and eagerly watching their unexpected mealtime entertainment, only to trip on the stairs and mumble something not appropriate for young ears. Dumbledoor scanned the table quickly before narrowing his eyes at McGonagall, who was innocently drinking a cup of tea.“Where did you hide them?” He demanded, glaring at her and banging his hands down on the table, right into a bowl of oatmeal.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Though I guess there are tiny bits that could be seen as one ship or another
Series: Dumbledoor Crack Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053173
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	Dumbledoor and the Lost Lemon Drop

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A Lengthy List of How Umbridge Could've and Should've Died](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27192590) by [M1dn1ght_Star](https://archiveofourown.org/users/M1dn1ght_Star/pseuds/M1dn1ght_Star). 



> Had the idea after writing Lemon Drop chapter of my Umbridge fic

Dumbledoor ran throughout the castle wearing a neon pink bathrobe and a jester's hat complete with jingling bells in the shape of bowtruckles. His slippers looked like potatoes with the fluffy inside as mashed potato. His eyes were wide and panicked and the deep bruises around his eyes betrayed the fact that he hadn’t slept in days.

He passed Severus Snape on one of the staircases, who promptly did a double take before looking suspiciously at the coffee he was drinking. Snape then realized that he wasn’t really that shocked, it was exactly something the crazy old man would do, shook his head, and moved on with his day. He had a detention to plan for Potter, after all.

Pomona Sprout facepalmed when the man raced through the Great Hall past the students eating their breakfast and eagerly watching their unexpected mealtime entertainment, only to trip on the stairs and mumble something not appropriate for young ears. Dumbledoor scanned the table quickly before narrowing his eyes at McGonagall, who was innocently drinking a cup of tea.

“Where did you hide them?” He demanded, glaring at her and banging his hands down on the table, right into a bowl of oatmeal.

McGonagall stared at him for a moment before sighing and shaking her head, returning to her breakfast without responding. The other teachers exchanged looks before proceeding to ignore the headmaster entirely.

Dumbledoor scowled and vanished through the staff door, hunting down Filch who was polishing the trophies in the trophy room while humming offkey. “My lemon drops are missing! I demand you find them!” He yelled, startling Filch so badly the caretaker dropped a trophy on his foot and yelped in pain. 

Suddenly, there was a cackle from above and a shower of small hard objects rained down on Dumbledore’s head, missing Filch who had retreated away from the enraged man. Peeves saluted the caretaker with a grin before drifting away through the wall, followed by Dumbledore who was screaming profanities at the ghost.

Harry Potter was not having a good morning. He slept through his alarm and then Ron was hogging the bathroom so he was pretty sure his shirt was on backwards. He shoved his glasses on his face and stumbled sleepily out of the portrait hole of Gryffindor, only to yelp as he was flung back into the wall by a stray elbow as none other than Albus Dumbledore sprinted past chasing Peeves, who was holding a large bag of lemon drops.

“Are you okay?” Colin Creevey asked, scrambling over towards him, having also been leaving the common room. 

“Yeah, I’m alright. Thanks, Colin.” Harry said, smiling at the younger boy, who promptly turned bright red and nodded mutely while clutching his camera.

Harry got up from the ground and adjusted his school bag on his shoulder, waving to the Patil twins as they went past and turning to Colin. “I’m gonna head to breakfast now. Do you want to come with me?” He asked.

“Yes! I mean- sure, that would be nice, thank you!” Colin replied enthusiastically, tucking his camera into his bag and rushing over to walk next to Harry as they started down the staircase. 

They made it to the Great Hall without further incident and Harry said goodbye to Colin, who quickly sat down at the nearest place at the Gryffindor table and screamed into his sleeve, prompting an older girl to ask if he was okay. Harry spotted Ron and Hermione towards the front of the Great Hall and took a seat across them at the table.

“Morning!” He said cheerfully, before laughing as he was attack-hugged from behind by a familiar pair of arms. “Hello, Neville. How are you? Looking forward to the weekend?” He asked, turning to face the brown haired boy who sat down next to him.

“Yup! I’ve finished all my essays too, so hopefully I won’t have much to work on.” Nevile, replied.

A lively conversation started between Harry, Dean, Seamus, and Hermione over a recent mundane football game between Liverpool and Manchester United, with Harry and Seamus on the side of Manchester and Dean on the side of Liverpool with Hermione occasionally commenting.

They had moved on to the topic of Crookshanks stalking Blaise Zambini from Slytherin when they were disrupted by a scream from the Entrance Hall. Students from all tables ran towards the doors, followed by teachers. Everyone stopped short when they saw Dumbledoor dangling in midair, being held by one foot several yards above a puddle of some melted yellow goop. He was cursing at Peeves, who was scolding him for his language while swinging him back and forth in the air.

McGonagall got the ghost to release the headmaster and slowed his fall so he could get to his feet by the edge of the puddle. Peeves cackled as he waved one remaining lemon drop in Dumbledoor’s face before dropping it towards the ground. The Headmaster lunged across the puddle of melted candy, trying to catch it, only to falter and land face first in the sticky lemon substance. He looked up, wiping at his face, just in time to see Sybil Trelawney coming down the stairs.

“Sorry I’m late!” She said, not noticing what was going on as she descended the final few steps and crushed the lemon drop under her foot. Dumbledoor stared at the pieces of his beloved candy for a few seconds before bursting into tears, something that startled everyone present, even Peeves.

In the end, the Headmaster had to be forced to take a Calming Draught and was sent to bed for the day, leaving Snape and McGonagall to deal with his responsibilities for that Friday. A talented Ravenclaw had created a drawing of the morning’s events and was making a small fortune as most of the students had asked for a copy and were willing to pay for it. Harry and Neville both bought their own version of the art and had lots of fun coming up with increasingly dramatic versions of the parts of the morning that hadn’t been witnessed and were still a mystery. A silent, transparent figure smiled at the energetic chaos and laughter from their hiding spot up by the ceiling, pleased with the results of their confiscation of the Headmaster’s candy. Then they spotted a grumpy, bloody ghost approaching them and fled for a different part of the castle.


End file.
